Sunday, 1 July 2007

Boredom is taking over......

It's 2:54am, I'm not tired, I'm bored out of my mind, and I officially hate my laptop. The graphics keep going insane everytime I play Sims 2. There's an internal error on the driver or something. So I can't play Sims, and I would play Pokemon, but I'm seriously annoyed with it at the minute. That God damn May keeps beating me, and you can't go any further till you've beaten her. She just uses 'absorb' over and over again! Just kills my pokemon in like 3 hits, and my pokemon is useless against hers. God damn her to hell. I wanted to start a new file on pokemon, but I was really attached to all my other pokemon on my completed file, so I called the character on the new file Mikey (I went a boy to see if it would change the storyline), and the pokemon Frankie, so that I'd get attached to them and wouldn't want to turn it off. Fool-proof way of doing it that, just name them after people out of MCR. So even though my pokemon is 7 levels higher than May's, I still get beaten, I think I'll train up my Taillow (Jaylee I named her, she's a bird pokemon), and use that instead. 'Cause that Frankie is bloody useless. He's a Marshtomp, which is a water pokemon, and her pokemon is a Grovyle, which is a grass pokemon, so it beats the water pokemon everytime. That game stresses me out. God damn May and her stupid Grovyle........

Anyway, onto a new subject. I'm extremely bored so this might be a long post if I can be bothered. I've got hospital school tomorrow, 1pm to 3pm. Two hours of maths. That's just evil. I really don't think I'll be able to get up in time, so I may stay up all night. I actually know someone there, so that's good. Monique her name is. I kinda know Stacey, she came over to talk to us. So I should be alright, but the lads scare me. When Colette introduced me to the class, they just stared at me. Probably 'cause everyone there was dressed kinda chavvy, and I was dressed kinda gothy. Meh, I'll dress whatever way I want. I don't care what other people think. Though I found the way the lads looked me up and down somewhat creepy. And that girl who was on the laptop just gave me a dirty look, which there was no need for at all. I was just standing there. I have the card class on Thursday as well, I love that, it's really fun, although those sticky tabs annoy me, they just get stuck to your fingers. Evil they are. I made a card with a hamster on it, and wrote 'Frankie' on it's bowl, and then I made a card with a rabbit on it, and wrote 'Mikey' on it's bowl. I think I'm obsessed with the names Mikey and Frankie. I can understand the Frankie one, as I have an obsession with Frankie Iero, but I don't have an obsession with Mikey Way. Gerard Way, but not Mikey. I guess he is my fave bassist, aside from my brother (awww, but he really is good, he was playing sega tunes before). Moving onto a new subject, and paragraph..........

Bet you thought I was gonna talk about MCR, didn't you? Well I'm not. I'm gonna talk about music in general. I think I shall list a few songs that I love at the minute, and listen to repeatedly.....

Misery Business - Paramore
The Howling - Within Temptation
When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne
Heaven Help Us - MCR
Tears Don't Fall - Bullet For My Valentine
Unholy Confessions - A7X
Kill All Your Friends - MCR
The Take Over, The Breaks Over - FOB
Blood Red Summer - Coheed And Cambria
Helena - MCR
Helena [Live] - MCR
The Ghost of You - MCR

I am actually listening to Unholy Confessions at the minute. And of course there was gonna be more MCR than anything else. I would of put some Evanescence in there, but at the minute I just think "meh", whenever I think of them. I'm sure I'll get back into them at some point. And now I'm listening to Misery Business, which came on by itself as the media player is on shuffle. This post really is gonna be long, I still have two more things I wanna talk about, which means two more paragraphs.....

First of the last two things is games I would like to purchase. These are........

MySims (Wii)
Pokemon Diamond (DS)
The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (DS)
Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles (Wii)
Dead Rising (Xbox 360)
Resident Evil 5 (Xbox 360)
Guitar Hero II (Xbox 360)

I haven't actually got an Xbox 360, so I can't get the last three games. The only one that is out is Pokemon Diamond, so I can't get the others either. I also have no money. But I'll get them all someday. I already have Guitar Hero II for the PS2, but the Xbox 360 version has an MCR song on it. And I got deja vu as I was typing that. It doesn't seem familiar to me at all now though. Anyway, onto a new subject!

I need to write about the freaky dream I had the other night, 'cause it was the weirdest dream I've ever had. Even weirder than the one with the wizards. Even weirder than the one with the plane. Even weirder than the one with the trees. Even weirder than the one with the dogs. Even weirder than the one with Jude Law. Okay, I think you should get that it was pretty strange now. Where do I start with this dream? I don't even know where it started, but it had weird skeleton things in it, I have the face of the first one in my head, MCR, Bert McCracken, my mum, my physiotherapist, my mate Lydia (who was one of the skeleton things), my brother, and I think that was it. The bit with the weird skeleton things was, me and my mum were sitting on a couch on a beach, and all these skeletons wearing armour and carrying swords, they actually kinda looked like the skeleton that teaches you moves out of The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, came out of the ocean, and I went, "Don't look mum, you won't like it." Then I was in a taxi with my mum and my physiotherapist Jo, and I went "I like McDonalds." And my mum went "We know." And then Jo grabbed all these Happy Meal boxes and jumped out of the taxi, and legged it off down the road, and all these kids were running after her holding Happy Meal boxes. Then we were driving along in the taxi, and Blood Red Summer came on, and I was singing along really loudly. Then I was in some crappy run down city with my brother, and we did something, I can't remember what, to annoy Bert McCracken, and he started shooting at us, so we ran, and my brother went "You need to run faster than that" and grabbed hold of my arm, and then he started to fly, and 'cause he had hold of me, I was flying with him. Then I ended up in some corridor with MCR, and Ray and Bob were leaving MCR, and Gerard was like "No, you can't leave" and I turned to Gerard and went, "Are they really leaving?" and he went "I don't know" Bert was after them for some reason, and Ray and Bob didn't want to risk him killing them, that's why they were leaving. Then I ended up outside the room where Bert was, and he came out and went "It's not like that anymore". Then it turned out the skeleton things were trying to take over the world, and I was tryna talk to Lydia on MSN, as she was one, to find out what was going on, and after about an hour she said "Sorry, was just off on an invasion", I didn't actually ask her about the taking over the world thing, I asked her if MCR were really splitting up, which is probably what I'd do in real life. Then the dream ended.

That was the freakiest dream I've ever had. The MCR splitting up thing was just horrible. Forget about the nightmarish skeletons, that was the scariest bit. Gerard actually looked like what he does now, in previous dreams he's looked like he did in the past. I don't think Mikey and Frankie were in that dream, I think it was just Ray, Bob and Gerard. Actually Frankie might of just been in the background or something. Maybe Mikey was too. Argh, I don't know, I can't remember. Oh, and the skeletons face I have in my head was Lydia, I think. Bloody strange that dream, I must of taken something before I went to sleep, I mean, what the hell was all that about?

It is now 4:06am, and I'm still not tired. That cured my boredom for a while though. I think I'll play Pokemon, and just level up Frankie and Jaylee to hell, and kick that God damn May's teeth in.

Until next time, farewell!

EDIT: It is now 8:16am, I'm tired, but I have to stay up now, 'cause of the whole hospital school thing. Oh, and I finally beat May. I didn't level up Jaylee, I just got Frankie to level 29 (he was level 27), gave him something to hold that makes ground moves more powerful, and beat her to death. Well, I didn't beat her to death, just made her pokemon faint, but ya know.


Sunday, 24 June 2007

Games

I have managed to get stuck on The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, even though i've completed it 2 times. It's that damn block puzzle, it gets me every time. Stupid Yeto and Yeta and their stupid mansion. Anyway, I have a list of games, and I shall tell you why each one is awesome......

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
The Legend of Zelda: Windwaker
Silent Hill 4: The Room
Resident Evil series
Soul Calibur series
Mortal Kombat: Shoalin Monks
Ape Escape series
Guitar Hero II

Euro 2004
Singstar series
Hogs of War
ToeJam & Earl

Streets of Rage 1 & 2
Warioware: Smooth Moves
Dragonball Z: Budokai
The Sims 2
Super Smash Bros. Melee
Mariokart: Double Dash
Zoo Tycoon
Thrill Kill

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess - this is just the most awesome game ever made, it's easier than the other Zeldas, which may be why I like it so much. The storyline is great, the characters are great, (I have an obsession with Link, the main character lol), it's just great overall. I love Zant, one of the bosses, the noise he makes is really screwed up and hilarious.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time - well, this game is supossed to be the greatest game ever made, though some people are saying Twilight Princess is better now. I'm not very good at this game, I actually died, something I don't think happened when I played TP. It's got an awesome storyline, the characters are pretty cool, although that damn fairy Navi really annoys me. I haven't completed this game yet.

The Legend of Zelda: Windwaker - this is the second best Zelda in my opinion. It's amazing, Link actually talks in this one! Well, he only says 'come on' but you know. I'm currently stuck on this game, but it's amazing how it twists and turns in the plot all the time. I don't think i'll ever complete this one, 'cause i'm rather annoyed with it at the minute.

Silent Hill 4: The Room - what can I say about this game? The storyline is so messed up and freaky, but it's so imaginative. How the hell anyone can think something like that up is beyond me. The main character (Henry) rules, he's so awesome, my mate Lydia has this thing about shouting 'HENRY!' every time she sees him. This game has 4 endings (I think), and I got the worst one, I shall not say what happened, but the ending was called '21 Sacraments'

Resident Evil series - I honestly don't know what to say about these games. Either Resident Evil 1 or Resident Evil Code Veronica X is my fave one. RE 4 is supossed to be one of the best games ever made. I shall list the characters, as they are awesome; Chris, Jill, Barry, Wesker (my fave hehe), Rebecca, Ada, Leon, Claire, Steve, Billy, Carlos, there are obviously others, but I just listed the main ones, and the ones that I could remember. I've completed all the ones in the main series, and Chris and Wesker are my fave characters I think. I hate Steve, but my mates all say I love him. Damn them all to hell. The storylines in these games are awesome, I can't explain them all, they're too long.

Soul Calibur series - I don't normally like playing fighting games, but this one is awesome, Link was even in one of them! My fave character is Hwang, he's so cool. You had to unlock him in one of them, but i'm not very good at it, and kept getting killed by that damn Raphael (I hate him so much), so instead I made a character that had his moves and looked like him, and called him Hwang. I can't remember the storyline for this game, it's been a while since I played it.

Mortal Kombat: Shoalin Monks - Mortal Kombat is well known as a fighting game, but it has a few adventure ones as well. This is one of them. My fave character on the fighting ones is Kung Lao, and he's one of the main characters in this game, the other one being Liu Kang. I used to play this all the time with my brother. At one point I was actually better than him at it, and that doesn't normally happen lol. Can't remember the storyline for this one either. But it's an awesome game.

Ape Escape series - well this is quite a change from the games i've been writing about. This game is so random, I mean, monkeys that take over the world? What? I've only ever completed Ape Escape 3, 'cause I got annoyed with the second one, and the first ones quite awkward to play. Satoru and Sayaka are the names of the characters in the 3rd one. I went Sayaka as that's the girl lol. I love the boss monkey, Specter, he's just awesome. Dr. Tomuki, otherwise known as Mr. Afro, rules too.

Guitar Hero II - I LOVE this game. It's so awesome, and I completed it on hard! I'm really proud of myself. I'm stuck on section 6 of expert now though. There are two songs that are really awesome in my opinion, Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas and The Beast and The Harlot by Avenged Sevenfold. I love those two songs so much, but it's no surprise that I love The Beast and The Harlot, 'cause Avenged Sevenfold are like my second fave band. This game stresses me out sometimes, but it's one of the best games ever made.

Euro 2004 - you wouldn't think i'd like this game, 'cause I hate football, but I used to play it with my brother and my dad all the time. I was pretty good at it too, never completed it though, I couldn't be bothered. I used to go France, my dad would go England, and my brother would go Portugal. I think I was actually better than my brother at this, but my dad was the best.

Singstar series - THE best game to play with your mates. There are 8 Singstars altogether, Singstar, Singstar Party, Singstar Popworld, Singstar 80's, Singstar Rocks!, Singstar Anthems, Singstar Legends, and Singstar Pop Hits, I realise now that I didn't have to write 'Singstar' for every one, but it's too late now. Pop Hits is my fave, 'cause it's got Evanescence and My Chemical Romance on it. They're not even pop, but you know. The only one I haven't played is Rocks!

Hogs of War - oh my God, this game is just so amazing. This is another game I used to play with my brother and my dad all the time. I used to go the American pigs, my dad would go the British, and my brother would go either the German or the Russian. One of the American pigs sounded like Elvis. It even says on the wiki. As the title says, it's just pigs at war. It's like Worms, but pigs instead. It's so cool. I love those little American pigs, Abraham and Keanu are my faves. I can't remember the name of the one that sounds like Elvis.

ToeJam & Earl - this game is so random, it's unbelievable. It's for the sega, and I used to play it with my brother all the time. Two aliens whose spaceship has crashed on earth, and you have to find the pieces. ToeJam was a red alien with four legs, a cap that was on backwards and a big medallion. Earl just looked like Patrick off Spongebob, but he was orange, his pants fell down all the time too. ToeJam was the faster one, and Earl was the one with the most life. I always had to go Earl, even though I like ToeJam better.

Streets of Rage 1 & 2 - this is a game I always used to play with my dad. It was for the sega as well. I liked the second one better, whereas my dad liked the first one better. In the first one I always went Blaze, and my dad went Adam, and in the second one I always went Skate and my dad went either Blaze or Axel. It's an arcade game, and it's so amazing, I love it.

Warioware: Smooth Moves - another good game to play with your mates, but I think it's better playing it on your own. Basically loads of mini-games, and you have to put the Wii-remote on your head and do all sorts of things. It's so fun, and can be good excerise lol. My fave mini-game set is Ashleys. I love this game so much.

Dragonball Z: Budokai - I used to watch this all the time on TV, but then it went crap. This is a fighting game, i'm not so good at it really, but I did complete it. My fave character was either Trunks, or Teen Gohan. My brother was awesome at this game, he always wanted to fight me, but there was no point 'cause i'd just lose.

The Sims 2 - I don't play this game anymore, but i'm looking forward to MySims for the Wii. I either make a family and make them have loads of kids, so theres loads of generations, or I just make a single sim, and don't really pay attention to them, because I normally take the repairman prisoner in a tiny room, and then kill him. I'm evil, I know.

Super Smash Bros. Melee - this is another fighting game, also another game that has Link in it. Link is obviously my fave character, either him or Young Link. I love this game, theres an adventure mode, or a classic mode. You can get loads of trophies of characters from Nintendo games. It's really cool.

Mariokart: Double Dash! - this is like the only racing game I like. I always go Koopa and Paratroopa in the bullet car. I can only do it on 50cc and 100cc, i'm awful at it otherwise. My brothers really good at it, he unlocked everything. THE best racing game ever in my opinion.

Zoo Tycoon - this is a game i'll only play when i'm REALLY bored. But I love it anyway. I haven't played it in years though. It's extremely fun creating your own little zoo, I love the tigers the most, them being my fave animal.

Thrill Kill - this game was never officially released. We had a copy of it years and years ago though. If it had of been released it would of definitely been an 18, but I played it when I was like 5, and I loved it. I can't remember it very much, but it was really gory and quite sick really. So naturally it was one of the best games ever made.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - this MAY be my fave game ever made. You choose your race, I went an imperial, your class and starsign, and then basically you could do whatever you want. There were quests to do obviously, but you didn't have to do them. I joined The Dark Brotherhood, which was pretty screwed up. You killed people for rewards, it was really fun. Unfortunately, it doesn't work on my laptop, so I can't play it anymore. But it was awesome.

And there you go! That took me quite a while, and Lydia keeps moaning at me to hurry up. Anyway, they're the games that I love, and, i'm going now, bye!

P.S. I said the word 'awesome' a LOT in that post.

Tuesday, 5 June 2007

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) is one of several names given to a poorly understood, highly debilitating disorder of uncertain etiology, which is thought to affect approximately 4 per 1,000 adults in the United States and other industrialized countries, and a smaller fraction of adolescents.

Chronic fatigue syndrome is a rather bad name for it, in my opinion. Yep, I suffer from CFS, and let me tell you, it aint exactly what you'd call fun. I don't know what the best name for it is, there's quite a few names, and none of them seem to fit. I think anyway. Here's a list of them.....
Myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME)
Myalgic encephalopathy
Chronic fatigue immune dysfunction syndrome (CFIDS)
Post-viral [fatigue] syndrome (PVS or PVFS)
Chronic Epstein-Barr virus (CEBV)
Chronic Mononucleosis
Low Natural Killer cell disease
Yuppie Flu
Uncommonly used terms include Akureyri Disease, Iceland disease, Royal Free disease, atypical poliomyelitis, epidemic vasculitis, raphe nucleus encephalopathy, and Tapanui flu

I find 'Yuppie Flu' offensive, and 'Low Natural Killer cell disease' just sounds deadly. I just normally refer to it as 'CFS' or 'ME'.

You might be wondering what the hell CFS is. Well, to be honest, I don't really understand it that much myself. It has quite a few symptoms, and diagnosing it can be quite hard. I had to have so many blood tests it was unbelievable. But they were just to rule out other things. You have to have a certain number of symptoms before you can be diagnosed with it. When I started to sleep all day and get headaches, I just thought "Oh, i'm just being lazy," and "It's just my eyesight getting worse." But it was far different from that. I had quite a few other symptoms too, sore throats, muscle weakness/pain, waking up randomly in the middle of the night, when I woke up it didn't feel like i'd been to sleep, being freezing one minute, and roasting the next. I swear when that doctor said he thought I had CFS, I was just like "Eh? What in God's name is that?!" But all the signs were there, heres the list of symptoms you've gotta have......

Primary symptom: incapacitating fatigue
Incapacitating fatigue that is:
of new or definite onset (not since birth)
unexplained by other medical cause,
lasts for at least six months (from onset, not necessarily from when the patient becomes aware that the fatigue is an ongoing symptom)
and is not improved by rest.

Additional symptoms
The fatigue must be accompanied by a minimum of 4 of the following eight symptoms:
Impairment of short-term memory and concentration
Sore throat
Tender lymph nodes
Muscle pain
Multi-joint pain
Headaches of a new type, pattern, or severity
Unrefreshing sleep or insomnia
Post-exertional malaise (fatigue lasting more than 24 hours after exertion)

The cause of CFS is usually if you were very stressed in the previous year. Some cases start gradually, but the majority start suddenly, often trigged by a flu-like viral, or similar illness.
There isn't a tablet you can take for CFS, you have to get better the hard way. It varies in people, and its not really known whether anyone truly recovers from it, or just acheives remission from a relapsing, remitting illness. Some patients go into hospital for a while and come out the other side. Some patients can just make adjustments in their life and slowly get things back to normal. For instance, students can be home tutored, or go into hospital school (like me), and gradually be sent back to school. Even though hospital school/home tutoring is just supossed to be temporary, sometimes it can end up being permanent.

CFS is unlikey to increase the risk of an early death, although it has been listed as the cause of death in a few cases. That made me feel better when I saw that......

There are quite a few notable sufferers, and I can't tell you how excited I was to learn that Frank Iero, the rhythm guitarist in My Chemical Romance (my fave band) used to have it. It also made me feel better, as hes extremely active now, so I know I can get better. I didn't know quite a few of them but the ones I did know were; Florence Nightingale (you gotta know who that is), Cher (c'mon, you know who that is too, don't you?), Kelly Holmes (athlete), Frank Iero (as stated above), Flea (bassist in Red Hot Chili Peppers), and Lemmy (singer of Motorhead).

Having to live with it can cause anxiety, depression and stress. I'm not too stressed out myself, but I get anxious really easily, and I'm depressed. CFS sufferers can be completely cut off from social activity. You can be completely cut off from work/school and therefore don't socialise, which can make you feel even worse. It is believed that CFS sufferers are at a high risk of suicide. I myself am not, but there most probably patients who are. Some people argue that its easy to invent CFS-like symptoms for social, emotional or financial benefits. I do not see how there are benefits to suffering from this awful thing. I hardly ever see my friends, I feel the worst than I have ever done in my entire life, and i'm 14, so it aint like I had money anyway, but I don't think there are any financial benefits.

To be honest, I find it hard to talk about this, sometimes I think its all just in my head, as somebody once said to me that the only reason I stay off school is because I haven't been there in so long. The truth is, i'm not well, it can't be right for a 14 year old girl to feel like this, to sleep all day, and to not even have a life. Admitting it to myself is hard, but there it is. I'm trying to get everything back to normal, but it will take a while. I'm not really that confident that I can do it, but i'll try. Just incase you think it, I haven't wrote this so that people will feel sorry for me. I've wrote it because I want to raise awareness about something that most people have never even heard of. I hope you understand it more now, and that I didn't just make you even more confused. I probably did, but it can't be helped.